The viral cookie challenge has captured millions of hearts on TikTok, including the one posted by Alissa Torrez, a mom of two (soon to be three).
In her video, she watches her 3-year-old son, Oliver, react to the classic cookie setup—two cookies for him, one for Dad, and none for Mom. The result? A sweet, heartwarming moment — Oliver gasps when he realizes his mom has no cookie under her napkin. Without hesitation, he offers her one of his own—and then gently re-covers each cookie so everyone can experience the surprise all over again.
His mom’s voice cracks with emotion as she whispers off-camera, “My heart is so warm.” The video now has over 49.5 million views.
But what happens when the cookie challenge doesn’t go quite as planned? Is it really a test of toddlers’ sharing abilities, or is it a reflection of our own emotional stakes as parents? It’s adorable, yes. But it also taps into something deeper: When parents do this challenge, are they really testing whether their toddlers will share—or whether they’re doing a good enough job raising them?
The cookie challenge, explained
The premise is simple: three covered plates, three people—usually a toddler and their two parents. When the napkins are lifted, the child has two cookies, one parent has one, and the other has none. The moment of truth? Whether the toddler notices the imbalance… and offers to share.
The challenge has exploded on TikTok, racking up millions of views and sparking strong emotional reactions. Some kids leap to share. Others… not so much. Parents respond with delight, disappointment, or a nervous laugh—and viewers eat it all up.
The real test: Why parents are drawn to it
On the surface, the cookie challenge is all about the child. But scratch a little deeper, and it becomes clear—this is just as much a test for the parents watching (and recording) as it is for the toddler sitting in the middle.
Today’s parenting landscape is shaped by a deep desire to raise kind, emotionally intelligent kids. The gentle parenting movement has encouraged moms and dads to prioritize empathy, co-regulation, and modeling good behavior. But with that often comes quiet pressure—pressure to see the results. To know all that intentional parenting is paying off.
Social media only amplifies that need. When a toddler shares their cookie, it feels like a small but shining victory. A sign that maybe, just maybe, you’re raising a “good human.”
Related: What to say to model empathy for your toddler with toys
What people are saying
The cookie challenge has sparked an outpouring of heartfelt reactions from parents and viewers alike. In the comments, viewers share their emotional responses to the toddlers’ generosity (or lack thereof), often highlighting the small, thoughtful moments that resonate deeply.
Here’s a glimpse of what people are commenting on Alissa’s video:
- Felicia Moses: “the cookie challenge is now closed. He did not just give her a cookie without even thinking of losing one but he covered back the cookies to ensure she was able to enjoy the experience.”
- Mercedes: “Not him covering them back up for another reveal 🥺😭”
- Brittani Killgo: “the fact that he tried to erase the disappointment for you to remake the surprise says volumes”
- Rev. Michelle: “Love how he’s acts surprised again after fixing the situation. Sweet soul.”
- Kiesha.weeks: “This was the best one 😭 him covering them back up and being just as surprised. He’s precious 🥹”
- 148 Guesthouse: “This is the most wholesome cookie challenge we’ve seen 😭❤️#winning”
Related: 10 secrets for raising a kind and compassionate child
Why some toddlers aren’t quite ready to share (and that’s okay)
Before we spiral into existential dread over a cookie, let’s remember: toddlers are still figuring this whole sharing thing out.
According to child development experts, sharing is part of a broader category of prosocial behavior—voluntary actions meant to benefit others. And while toddlers can absolutely demonstrate moments of generosity, those moments aren’t always consistent. That’s because their brains are still developing the skills needed for true empathy and impulse control.
“This is not a scientific experiment,” said Dr. Tovah Klein, director of the Barnard College Center for Toddler Development, in an interview with The New York Times, “I think parents want to be cautious about generalizing anything other than that this is a fun, funny moment.”
In other words, the cookie challenge captures a snapshot in time. What matters more is the pattern over time—and the environment we create to help those generous instincts grow.
Related: How to parent with more empathy + grace
What this moment reveals about us
At its core, the cookie challenge is less about testing toddlers and more about revealing our own emotional needs as parents. It’s a parenting Rorschach test—one that asks: Are we longing for reassurance that we’re doing something right? Are we seeking validation for the long hours of effort, gentle guidance, and tough love?
The cookie, in this context, becomes a symbol. A symbol of not just generosity, but of our desire for control in an often unpredictable world. For many parents, especially moms, there’s a quiet but ever-present pressure to model values like kindness and empathy while simultaneously navigating a world that can feel fractured or divided. And we want to feel that what we’re doing is making a difference. We want to feel seen for our tireless efforts in shaping the next generation of good humans.
But it’s not just about us. It’s about how these tiny moments of generosity, or lack thereof, reflect the broader cultural climate we’re raising kids in—a world where we often question what “good parenting” truly looks like, especially in the digital age.
The bottom line
Whether your toddler hands over that cookie or not, what matters most isn’t what they did in that moment—it’s what you model for them every day. Children learn through observation, through consistency, and through the gentle guidance of their caregivers. The real takeaway from the cookie challenge isn’t the individual “win” of sharing, but the broader lesson in kindness, empathy, and generosity that unfolds across their early years.
So, the next time you find yourself holding your breath during the challenge, remember: it’s not about perfection. It’s about progress, and above all, about showing up for your child—cookie or no cookie.
Sources:
- Types of prosocial toddler behavior. Frontiers in Psychology. 2024. “A construct divided: prosocial behavior as helping, sharing, and comforting subtypes”
- How young brains develop socially. National Research Council and Institute of Medicine. 2000. “The Developing Brain – From Neurons to Neighborhoods”
- Interpreting children’s emotional responses. Using the Rorschach with Children. 2007. “USING THE RORSCHACH WITH CHILDREN”