As a mom and parenting writer, I’ve seen my share of awkward family situations. But when I came across a recent Reddit AITA post about a $2,800 post-vacation bill for a teen’s trip to Costa Rica, I couldn’t help but cringe. Why? Because this kind of situation is entirely preventable—and it’s time we had an honest conversation about the unspoken rules of hosting other people’s children on vacation.
Daughter joined a friend on vacay. Now we get the bill.
byu/ipraydaily inWhatShouldIDo
The vacation bill no one saw coming
In a viral Reddit AITA post, a mother shared her confusion about receiving a detailed bill post-vacation. “I assumed they would only charge us for her food and activities like zip lining,” she wrote. “Nope. They are asking for a portion of her accommodations and car rental as well.”
The total came to $2,800—$1,200 for accommodations, $400 for food, plus various excursion costs. Having only chatted briefly with the host family about the plans, this mom found herself in a situation I’ve seen play out too many times: different families operating under completely different assumptions.
Related: Reddit AITA: A mom told her friend not to bring her newborn to the party—was that the right call?
The silver lining
In this case, patience proved valuable. The mother later updated her post to share that she received an email removing the VRBO fee from the bill. “I just saved myself alotta money by doing nothing!” she shared, though wisely noting that in the future, she’ll “definitely communicate my exact expectations.” And honestly? That’s exactly the takeaway I hope everyone gets from this story.
What’s standard when hosting other people’s kids?
The Reddit community’s response to this situation was fascinating, and it highlighted something I’ve long believed: we need clearer guidelines about these arrangements. Based on both expert advice and years of parenting experience, here’s what’s typically considered standard:
What hosting families usually cover:
- Accommodation costs (especially if they’re booking the same room/house size anyway)
- Transportation costs already being incurred (like rental cars)
- Basic meals at home or casual restaurants
- General entertainment included in the family’s plans
What guest families typically pay for:
- Their child’s airfare or transportation to the destination
- Special activities or excursions their child participates in
- Spending money for souvenirs or extras
- Their portion of any significant group activities specifically planned for the kids
As Reddit user Every-Improvement-28 wisely pointed out: “Any extra cost incurred due to her being there, absolutely is yours. But the car? Not a dime more would be spent with or without her. Even the accommodations are likely the same.”
Setting clear expectations: A how-to guide
In my experience, the key to avoiding these awkward situations is having an upfront conversation about expenses. Here’s how both sides can navigate this discussion:
For hosting parents:
- Be clear about what costs you’re covering when extending the invitation
- Provide an estimate of any expected contributions
- Detail any specific activities that would require extra payment
- Consider creating a simple breakdown of anticipated costs
For guest parents:
- Don’t assume anything—ask specific questions about expected contributions
- As Reddit user jeepgirl1939 advised: “Like hey! How much is airfare, hotel, meals, and activities?”
- Get clarity on whether you’re expected to contribute to fixed costs
- Discuss spending money expectations
Looking forward
As someone who’s both hosted and sent kids on trips with other families, I firmly believe that clear communication is non-negotiable. When we invite another child on our family vacation, we’re not running a travel agency—we’re extending our family circle temporarily. Yes, there are costs involved, but they should be discussed upfront, not presented as a surprise bill.
The next time you’re considering letting your teen travel with another family (or hosting someone else’s child), remember these essential guidelines:
- Get all financial expectations in writing before the trip
- Be specific about what costs you’re willing to cover
- Don’t be afraid to say no if the arrangement feels uncomfortable
- Keep receipts for agreed-upon expenses
Have you ever hosted or sent your child on a vacation with another family? How did you handle the finances? Share your experiences in the comments below!
Related: Reddit AITA: Is a wedding the right time for a gender reveal? One bride’s dilemma on family boundaries
