TikTok mom, @itsme_abbye, is over the Christmas card charade this year. In fact, she has only done them once when her baby was born. And never again after that.When her husband suggested that she should do Christmas cards this year. She said, “Sure, why don’t you do Christmas cards this year?” She then proceeds to inform her poor unsuspecting husband about the mental load that is “doing Christmas cards.
The hidden costs of sending holiday cards
She runs down the insane list of things that go along with “doing Christmas cards.”
- Source the photographer
- Find a date that aligns with your schedule and the photographer’s schedule
- Decide what clothing everyone should wear
- Pick a location
- Take the photos
- Pay the photographer
- Pick the edits
- Find a website to make the cards
- Pick the card and then choose which photos you’re going to put on the card
- Figure out what to say on the back of the card
- Get addresses for both sides of the family
- Buy the envelopes
- Stuff the envelopes
- Address each envelope
- By stamps for the cards
- Stamp the cards
- Take them to the post office
Her husband responded, “Huh.” She continued in her video, “Yeah, it’s not just Christmas cards is it?”
“The mental load of Christmas cards has never seemed worth it to me,” she said. “Anybody that I would send a Christmas card to I see regularly. If you don’t see me regularly, you wouldn’t be getting a Christmas card from me to begin with,” she said. “And this is what the mental load of sending out Christmas cards is.”
There were mixed feelings in the comments about this mom’s observations. One said, “I appreciate NOT receiving Christmas cards, they end up in the trash.” Well there goes all that time, money, and mental energy into the garbage can.
Another said, “Christmas cards are my favvvvvvorite, I do them for MY joy, every other aspect of Christmas is for everyone else.”
“Nicole” shared that she loves the mental load of Christmas cards, and it’s her favorite project of the year.
And another viewer aptly pointed out that you don’t have to send cards with a photograph of your family, and that people used to do generic ones all the time.
So whether you’re team Christmas cards or not, if you receive one, please don’t just throw it in the garbage can—especially now that you know all of the work and effort that went into them.
The mental load of holiday cards: What moms are saying
We asked Motherly’s Instagram followers about holiday cards, and wow, did we get some honest answers. Turns out, while 66% of moms are busy sending them out, 34% are like, “Nah, we’ll pass this year,” because it’s just too much to juggle.
When it comes to how they feel about cards, here’s the breakdown:
- 41% absolutely love it (hello, tradition!).
- 30% think it’s a bit of a holiday hassle.
- 28% feel stressed but do it anyway—because, well, tradition.
One mom summed it up perfectly: “Making sure I included everyone on the list. Trust me, we’ll hear about it if we miss someone!”
But hey, some moms are all in—cards are their creative outlet and a way to spread holiday cheer. One mom said, “I do them for me—everything else at Christmas is for everyone else.”
So, whether you’re a card-sending pro or just happy to skip it, we can all agree: holiday cards are a mental load. But kudos to the moms who are keeping the tradition alive—one card at a time.
The real struggle behind sending holiday cards: Moms speak up
We asked our followers about the toughest parts of the holiday card process, and the responses were real, relatable, and filled with honest frustration.
Here’s what moms had to say:
- The cost: Between fancy cards, postage, and photos, it’s like a mini financial crisis.
- Time: Who has hours to spare for photoshoots and envelope stuffing?
- Addresses: Trying to track down everyone’s current address feels like a scavenger hunt.
- Perfect photos: Getting your kids to smile AND look at the camera? Pure magic.
- Mailing: Finding the time to hit the post office? It’s like a mission.
We asked our social media followers about the hardest part of the holiday card process, and here’s what we learned. Spoiler alert: it’s mostly the cost—and the struggle to get everyone to look happy in a photo.
- The Cost: The Real Grinch of the Season is a Clear Winner
Nearly every mom agrees: the cost of holiday cards is the true Grinch of the season. From the price of the cards to postage and those perfect family photos, the price tag can add up quickly. As @jackiefdickerson simply puts it: “The cost 😅.” - The Photo Struggle is Real
Getting everyone dressed, together, and looking at the camera is no small feat. As @kathleenie9 puts it: “Cost of getting a damn picture of everyone looking normal.” Picking the right photo can be just as challenging! - The Time Crunch
From planning the shoot to designing and addressing the cards, the time commitment is massive. As @kam.brya shares, “Finding the time—pictures, designing, addressing…” - The Mental Load
The mental load of keeping track of addresses can add a whole new layer of stress. @v__smitty nails it with “gathering all the addresses 🙄,” while @ashm15 humorously points out the anxiety of ensuring no one is left off the list: “Making sure I included everyone. We will hear about it if we do.”
The bottom line
Whether you’re a die-hard holiday card enthusiast or someone who’d rather skip the whole thing, we can all agree on one thing: the mental load is real.
From the photoshoots to the postage, it’s a lot to juggle during an already busy season. So, if you get a Christmas card this year, take a moment to appreciate the effort that went into it—because for some of us, it’s a labor of love, and for others, a sigh of relief when it’s finally over.
Happy holidays!
